If you have been following my blog, then you know about my son’s diagnosis of sleep apnea. It explains so many of our concerns we’ve had for years. He had surgery in February to remove his tonsils and adenoids and even though when we had that done, we weren’t convinced it would be the cure we desired, we were extremely hopeful. We saw a world of difference. More than we could have ever hoped for and were assured that everything was resolved.
Then we had another sleep study this week. We were supposed to wait until our follow-up visit next month but the doctor called the very next day. Not usually a good sign. Nope. He still has severe sleep apnea. I’m not even sure how this is possible. We are devastated. My son especially. He just wants to be “normal”. And as a mom, I am concerned with all of the complications that can result from it being untreated. Most of all, my heart just breaks for him having to go through all of this. We have yet another sleep study next week now. I want to tell him it will be the last one but I made the mistake of saying that three studies ago.
We are having ladies’ conference this weekend. I always go. Except last year. It is a great time to catch up with my best friend who lives over three hours away. Last year, I had failed to write the conference down on my calendar and had other commitments. I couldn’t, or rather didn’t, make the time to see her. After all, we had plans to get together several times over the summer so what was another month or so? Then she passed away unexpectedly. I have always regretted not making time to go to the conference last year. So, I went one night. It wasn’t easy. The speaker is a lady that Beth and I talked about wanting to hear in person for years. I had to go for her. I closed my eyes and worshiped and could almost swear that I heard her beside me. I know she would have loved it.
I have four friends all going through a very dark time in their lives. I don’t know what to say. I can’t take the pain away. It’s only by God’s grace that we aren’t going through the same trials. My heart breaks for them each. They each are dealing with their pain differently. I have no idea what I would do in the same situations. How do you forgive people that deliberately has hurt your child in some way or another? Even when unkind words are spoken to my children, or they are not included, it takes me much longer to get past it than it does my kids. I can still tell you every kid that has ever done anything to hurt any of kids’ feelings. Yet, I can’t remember anyone that has crossed me. I am praying that my friends will all be able to extend forgiveness and be able to heal. I pray that God will guide them and give them wisdom to handle the situations.
I am learning the bad things happen to good people.
I don’t have to understand it. I don’t think that is even possible.
But I am learning to trust that He knows all and will take care of it.